Has it Been a Year Already?

I have always loved holding my babies.  Even when they finished their third middle of the night feeding and my exhaustion threatened to take over completely, I would hold them and rock them one more time, just a little more, hoping to imprint the moment in some part of my memory that could never be lost.  Even since Ellie turned 7, I still find myself sneaking into her room in the middle of the night and snuggling her (and then Kate) for just a few moments, soaking in their beings like water to a sponge. I have always tried to gain back the time at night that sadly, with each child, has found a way to pass faster and faster during the days.  But despite my efforts to the contrary, my children are growing up too quickly and time is stubbornly keeping its quickening pace.

With Ellie, breakfast was eaten sitting at the table, intentionally chewing a uniquely shaped pancake while making a game out of recognizing the colors and shapes in the meal (Can you find something shaped like an oval?).  After Kate was born, my breakfast became a stand-and-go bowl of cereal.  I would eat with the girls while half listening to their morning commentary, nodding "uh huh" and following with "OK let's hurry and finish our breakfast so we can "fill in the blank"!"  By the time Tommy came along, breakfast for me became chugging a lukewarm cup of coffee as I loaded the kids in the van and shuttled them to school, Grandma's, story time, etc.  The same pattern has applied to baby albums (Ellie:  Handmade scrapbook; Kate: Shutterfly customized photobook; Tommy: what scrapbook?), bedtime routines, and now first birthdays.  My love for my children has expanded but my free time to sit back and soak it all in, has not.  And so I find myself sitting here in absolute shock that my baby boy will be 1 year old tomorrow.  It seems impossible.  Tonight I have a baby.  Tomorrow, a toddler.  No more baby.  Ever. 

When Tommy was born, he came into the world so sweetly.  It was as if he were saying, "It's OK mom, I'm not taking anything from you, I'm just here to add more good."  And so he does.  He is sweet.  He is funny.  He is SO HAPPY.  All the time.  He really is just a "bundle of joy."  Dan and I (and everyone else who knows and loves Tommy) just love to love him.  And he makes it so easy.  His charming smile, his big beautiful eyes, his expressive brow, and his cute little head tilt and oh-my-goodness....I'm done for.  Watch out world.  What a little love he is!

Thomas Daniel.  Touchdown Tommy.  Tommy Boy.  Happy Birthday to my sweet son who unbelievably, is turning one!!!!!!!!!!!