If someone would have told me 4 years ago that bedtime would be the single-most frustrating situation in parenting, I wouldn't have believed them. Surely, a poopy diaper disaster with no change of clothes, a tantrum in the mall at Christmastime, or a middle-of-the-night vomitous mess, that would be worse. But, alas, I have come to realize that, yes, bedtime is the most cursed time of the day. As I type this post, Ellie is upstairs screaming the following:
"You are a MEAN mommy!"
"I'm not going to live here anymore!"
"Fine. I'm not going to sleep tonight. EVER!"
"Mommy I'm scared! Don't leave me! I don't like the shadows!"
"MOOOOOOMMMMMMMYYYYYYYY!"
Ugh. I hate bedtime. I remember when Ellie was first born, Dan and I started the bedtime ritual of reading
Goodnight Moon to her every night before bed. Sure enough, she would be asleep before we could say goodnight to the mush. "Goodnight room. Goodnight moon." So simple. So effortless. So quiet and peaceful. That was all. Just
say goodnight and you have it. A GOOD night. I should have known from the pictures of mittens warming by a fire in the baby's nursery that this concept was from another time and another place. Definitely NOT the reality I find myself in today.
"MMMMOOOOOOMMMMMYYYYYY!"
"You are not a nice mommy!"
"Ahhhhh! Don't leave me Mommmmmmmmmmyyyyyy!"
Ugh. Ellie refuses to go to sleep without us laying with her. Then she wakes up in the middle of the night and comes into our bed. OK, the obvious solution is to keep walking her back to her bed. But when your husband works at night and you are getting up every few hours to feed a baby, waking up and walking your preschooler back to her bed, OVER AND OVER AGAIN seems physically impossible. Add to that the crying, screaming, and pleading(hers not mine) that naturally accompanies these middle-of-the-night charades, and you now also have a newborn awake and crying at the same time.
I am torn between the guilt of being the "mean mommy" who walks her rosy-cheeked, messy-haired, footsies-wearing baby girl back to her dark (GASP!) scary room and the deep deep desire I have to actually sleep at night without desperately trying to wrestle a small corner of the sheet for myself only to then get kicked in the back the remaining hours of the night.
So here I sit. Day two of my pledge to teach Ellie to sleep by herself. Last night she came into our bed so many times that she wore me out before I wore her out. I actually do not remember her coming in the last time and thus, I woke with her feet kicking my back and her butt crowding Dan out of the bed this morning. Still, I have resolve. I need my bed back. I need my sleep back. I need a good night.
A part of me is still hopeful that by simply saying the words, I will have it. So before bed, I quietly whisper, "Goodnight moon. Goodnight room. GOOD NIGHT please come soon!"
Pine Family
Ciabattari's (my brother)
Papa and Nana
This has to be the funniest (and most ironic) picture I've taken. Three little Angels...yeah right!
Proud McDonald Family
Just Ellie. She was so excited for her baby sister!
Ellie made this card for Kate. A keeper for sure!
This is the only picture of us coming off the big slide...freaky drop but it was awesome!
Happy Kate as always
Gottcha!
The mommies rockin' the baby pool...Kate looks a bit tired here. Oops!
Ellie got to pick a souvenir in the gift shop. I thought she would pick a stuffed animal or something. Nope. This was her choice. Well, at least she has good taste!
At the arcade. Dan cracks me up!
Ellie hit the JACKPOT!
Summer Summer Summer.
Nothing fancy. Just
Popsicles.
Walks and bike rides.
Barbecue.
My babies in their undies.
Rosy cheeks.
Bare feet.
Chasing after the ice cream truck.
Tickles on the floor.
Charlotte's Web.
A chapter a night.
Breezy nighttime windows.
Crickets and frogs.
Nothing fancy. Just
Summer Summer Summer.
Yesterday, Kate turned 4 months old. We cannot believe how quickly that time has passed. With Ellie, I kept thinking "Ooh! I can't wait for her to do (fill in the blank) or say (fill in the blank) or be (fill in the blank)." This time I know better. I am in NO hurry for Kate to get even a minute older. I am truly trying to soak up every second of the present moment with her because I now know too well how quickly they grow (Ellie will be 4 years old in a month!).
Anyway, Kate is a total joy. She is my sweet, squishy, chubby, giggly, drooly, lovable little pumpkin'. With the exception of the few nighttime hours when she likes to keep me awake, Kate is the easiest baby. She loves to be held and snuggled, which I am COMPLETELY taking advantage of, but is happiest playing and babbling with her big sister on the floor. Here are some other facts about Kate:
Kate is in the 95% for height! At 15 lbs 12 oz she is in the 90% for weight! Wow! So different than her petite big sister!
She LOVES snuggling lovies and soft blankets. She actually cuddles anything soft you give to her. It is so sweet.
She likes to sleep with something touching or covering her face. It freaks me out.
Dan has to hold her facing out and laying on her side. She doesn't like him to hold her any other way and he is the only one she will let hold her like that.
Her favorite sound to make is "Ah gooooo" but she also says, "Maaaaa" when she is hungry which cracks me up because it sounds so much like "Mom."
Her thighs are bigger than Ellie's. :)
She is very ticklish and loves to be tickled.
Her favorite game to play is airplane or any tickle game. She could care less about peek-a-boo.
She loves to be naked.
She holds her hands together like I remember my grandma Katherine doing, which is sweet since Kate is named after her.
Her feet are AWESOME! Seriously, they are perfect baby feet. DELICIOUS!
She was born with gorgeous, thick, dark hair but now is losing it rapidly. :(
Her eyes are changing to green.
If I set her down on her back, she immediately rolls over to her tummy. Then she cries because she can't roll back. So I put her on her back for her and the process repeats. Over and over.
She loves music and watches Ellie sing and dance with great focus.
She wears six month clothing already. :)
Kate-
You are the sweetest addition to our family and we all love you so much. We can't get enough of you! Thank you for being so patient with Mommy when she smooshes kisses into your cheeks and belly all day long. We can't imagine our world without you!
Love,
Mommy, Daddy, Ellie and Jaxie
