Fail Blog

I'm not sure why I am writing on this blog today.  In fact, I told Dan last night that I was done with the blog because I just couldn't find the time to keep it going the way I want to.  And yet, here I am.  Life is so full right now.  I just spent over 3 days at home (literally have not even walked outside) trying the three day potty training approach with Kate.  I wanted to potty train her before the holidays, before baby brother is here, and definitely before she is 3!  My nesting urge is in full force these days and after a LONG year of change change change, I just wanted some ease, tidiness, and order to life.  Of course the whole thing was a total disaster.  When am I going to learn that life does not happen according to MY plans?

In any case, here I am disinfecting my pee-ridden floor AGAIN while Kate naps.  I have 6 piles of pee-soaked laundry waiting for me in the laundry room.  I have over 1000 square feet of total chaos in our downstairs filled with things yet to be unpacked, repacked, tossed, organized or just put somewhere else.  The holidays are approaching, we need to shop for a new vehicle to accommodate our growing family, I have failed to do the reading for my book club, we are out of milk, and my dad is shuttling Ellie to and from school today because I literally can not do it.  Did I mention I am due in 8 weeks (or probably less if history repeats itself)?  I haven't even begun to set-up, prepare, etc for this little guy.  We don't even have a nursery plan.  This mama is feeling like a failure and feeling very overwhelmed.  I am not usually the "woe is me, I can't do it, look at my drama" kind of person but today I am giving myself a free pass.  Maybe reading my daily devotional in the morning, putting Kate back in diapers and just letting it go and moving on, or maybe just getting a night of decent sleep will bring me all the perspective I need.  I know it will come.  I'll pick myself up off the floor, actually take a shower and wear something other than sweats and a ponytail, and maybe make a real meal for dinner.  But for now, I am going to eat an entire bowl of leftover Halloween candy and wallow in self-pity. :)